


It's All Been Done

by rsadelle



Category: Historical RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-04-04
Updated: 1999-04-04
Packaged: 2017-10-28 15:29:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/309336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rsadelle/pseuds/rsadelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Antony remembers Caesar as he waits for Cleopatra.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's All Been Done

I sit here, in the middle of this crowded marketplace, waiting for her to arrive. She will, of course, do it in her own style and on her own timetable. That is just the way she is, the way she conducts business.

*******

I remember what he told me about her. We'd been in bed, the first time he'd allowed me into his bed in months. He'd kept me away until he had safely bundled her off to Alexandria. I hated it, but you didn't fight with Caesar. At least, that's what I thought at the time. It had been a frantic coupling. All I'd wanted was to know that we were . . . okay, I guess. We lay back in the bed and he put his arm around me, allowing me to crowd into his space.

"Well, that was a bit desperate, wasn't it?"

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't tease me about this. It's the first time I've really seen you in months. Of course it was a bit desperate."

"My dear Antony, don't tell me you're jealous of her."

"You'll never be emperor this way. You should have been in Rome, not in Alexandria, dallying with a petty client queen!" I sat up and pulled away from him.

"Antony, she is not just a petty client queen." He turned serious, forcing me to look at him. "Cleopatra is much more than that."

"Really? Then why are you here instead of in Alexandria with her?" I sounded like a resentful child and I knew it.

"Because, as you said, I have to spend some time in Rome if I'm to have any power at all. But do not discount the power of an alliance with Cleopatra. She holds Egypt. Egypt holds great wealth. Enough to buy an empire."

"But Caesar, she is who she is."

"Antony, you don't believe all those ridiculous stories about her." His tone was disapproving.

"Why shouldn't I? How do I know they're not true?"

"Antony, do you really believe she kills a slave a day, or that she'd kill a slave after sleeping with him? She wouldn't have any slaves left if that were true. Look, Antony, she's a very shrewd woman and not to be taken lightly. Remember that if you ever have to deal with her. She is more intelligent than all Roman women and most Roman men. And she knows how to use what she has to get whatever else she wants."

"That still doesn't excuse the fact that you spent so many months at her side, ignoring everything else."

"Antony." He sighed. "Look, I couldn't have you here while she was in Rome. I couldn't let her know what was going on. She would have left if she thought I didn't love her absolutely and I need Egypt. But that doesn't mean I didn't want you." He reached out to put his arms around me and I turned into his embrace, giving in to him. I always did.

"I know that, but I missed you, Caesar."

"I know." He kissed me then, a wonderful, slow, reassuring kiss. He pulled me close and rested his cheek on top of my head. "My Antony," he whispered into my hair. He allowed me to sleep there that night, curled into his side as he wrapped one arm around me.

*******

She must be arriving. The people are leaving the marketplace to see her. I'm sure she's put on quite a spectacle for their benefit. I am tempted to follow them, but I am the Roman general. I will wait here for her.

We were rivals once, and I suspect we may be again. I think that if she truly were as shrewd as Caesar thought she was, she would have known about us, despite his efforts to the contrary. I wonder, idly, what we shall do to revenge ourselves upon each other.

*******

We next spoke of her in his rooms on the night of the Lupercalia.

"Antony!" He was exuberant as he entered to find me already there, cleaned up a bit, but still dressed in the costume of a priest for the festival. He reached me and pulled my mouth down to his for a ferocious, breath-stealing kiss. "You were marvelous! The crowd loved it. I shall rule Rome yet. And just think what Cleopatra's reaction will be when she hears."

"Do you miss her?"

He pulled back to look at me quizzically. "You're not still worried that I'll leave you for her, are you? You shouldn't be. She may be powerful, and she was lovely in bed, but she could never compare with you, my Antony." He closed in to press his lips to mine again and any further conversation was lost as he pushed me back toward the bed.

*******

The marketplace is empty but for me now. I can hear the people shouting and exclaiming as they crowd around the docks to see the famous queen who has, no doubt, bedecked herself in the trappings appropriate to the arrival of the daughter of Isis.

*******

I remember our last time together. It was the morning of the Ides of March. He'd come to me before he left for the Senate. He was frowning.

"What is it, Caesar?"

He didn't answer, merely attacked me with hands and mouth, as if he were desperate to fill his senses with me. It was only later as we lay together in my bed that he told me what it was that had him worried.

"There have been omens. Calpurnia had a dream that I would be murdered in the Senate."

I clutched at him. "Then you must not go to the Senate."

"Antony, I have to. You know that." I did, but my heart sank. "I just wanted you to know that if I leave you, it will not be by my own choice." He kissed me again before dragging me out of bed to get dressed.

We went to the Senate together and then . . .

And then he was dead and I had to address the crowd even though all I wanted to do was throw myself over the corpse and sob. Someone was dispatched to tell Calpurnia. I did my duty as a Roman general and turned the crowd away from his killers. We burned his body. It was only much later that night that I allowed myself to collapse onto my bed. It still smelled like him. I cried myself into oblivion.

*******

One of her servants has entered the marketplace. His queen extends her invitation for me to dine with her. I will go to her for this banquet. I have not the strength to insist she come to me. I will see what she has to say, and to offer, and I will continue to try to make Caesar's dream come true.


End file.
